Writers Write - Right?

I have fallen into my bad old pattern of not writing, including this blog.  It's not that I don't want to - kind of.  I like the idea of getting into a book again.  Somehow, though, I never get going.  I'm not going to use the excuse that I don't have time.  I've never had anything but scorn for that excuse.  I have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else, and in the past I managed to complete quite a few books while working another job.  The most notable was the huge, never to be published manuscript I produced in one year while I was working in Boston.  That entailed a long day with a long commute, beginning at 6 AM and ending close to 6 PM.  I once did a time study on my day and concluded that, taking everything into account, my work, the commute, and necessary things like eating and sleeping, that I had 15 minutes free a day.  Yet I still managed to produce that book.  I'm proud of that.

It's not always that easy, though.  Way back then I was single and sharing a house with my parents, which means that I was responsible for only myself.  Now I'm a single mother, and I'm somewhat older.  My schedule is different, too.  While I no longer have the long commute, I work till 8, 2 days in the week.  I'm tired at night.  Sometimes I just want to veg out in front of the TV.  Sometimes I want to read other people's works.  And sometimes all I want to do is sleep.

Now, this doesn't mean I haven't made a start.  I've compiled quite a few notes, and I've put together different scenes for "Miss Nobody".  I'm close to being able to start writing it.  There's just one problem.  I don't want to.

So, OK.  That contradicts everything I've said, not only in this post, but in others preceding it.  But, there it is.  I do not want to write "Miss Nobody."  Though I've got some lively characters, the story itself is just too close to the Regencies I used to write.  I'm tired of that.  I want to move on.  I want to write the first book in the Three Graces trilogy, Felicity.  So the trilogy needs "Miss Nobody" as a prequeL?  So what?  I'll find a way to work around it.  I hate doing a lot of flashback in a book, particularly at the start, and so I don't know quite how I'll fit the relevant information in.  I'll manage somehow.

I've wanted to write Felicity for quite a few years.  I love the main character and I like the basic premise.  In fact, I'm excited about it.  So, why aren't I writing?  Damned if I know, except that it's my old bad pattern, formed when I started writing things I didn't really want to write, which burned me out.  When writing became a real chore, it also became something to avoid.  I need to rediscover my love and passion for it.  And the only way to do that is not to read someone else's book, or watch the tube.  The only way is to write.  Gulp.

So.  Take a deep breath and get started, kiddo.  I'll report my progress, or lack thereof, in a future entry.  For now, sleep calls.